Selfess
by FantasyEmpress
Summary: Depressing little story about a love that cannot be. I think it's fairly out of character...so please be forgiving. If enough people want one, I may later right a happy ending. We'll see. Read and review!


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.**

**A/N: This one is kind of depressing, I sort of like it this way, but if enough people beg me, I might right a happy ending sequel, like I did with "The Bitter Watches" and "Sweet Dawn". Sorry for out-of-character-ness, and apologies to anyone who hates me making Will the bad guy, but if you like Will, it's safe to say you shouldn't read my stories. Sorry for the long A/N.**

Elizabeth let Will kiss and touch her, but did not enjoy it. After ten years, she was supposed to want him? Naturally, he wanted her. Men always wanted women. But she could not forget ten years of times he had not been there for her.

He had not been the one to sit beside her and comfort her when the morning sickness went on for three months.

He had not been the one standing beside her when the contractions went for nearly a day.

He had not been the one who held her when she cried, when little Wilhelmina, Willy's twin, died.

He had not been the one who brought her all her supplies and all the things she could possibly want on her secluded little island.

He had not been the one who loved her so much that he _didn't _touch her.

Will pulled away, query in his eyes.

"What's wrong, Elizabeth?"

She sighed, sitting on the bed and staring up at him.

"Oh Will. It's not your fault…but I just don't know how I can do this."

Frustration filled his eyes. She knew what he was feeling. He'd waited ten years to be with her again, and often, in a man's eyes, the highest expression of love was physical intimacy.

"Will, when I was pregnant, I was sick for three months straight. You weren't there for me, Will."

"I couldn't be. You know that, Elizabeth."

"My labor pains went on for nigh a day, Will, and you weren't there for me."

"I _couldn't _be."

"Will. Willy had a twin sister. She died when she was a week old. You weren't there for me, when my heart was breaking."

"Elizabeth, I _couldn't _be!"

"Jack could."

"What?!"

"Will, Jack's been here for me through it all. He nursed me when I was sick. He held my hand when the pains came. He comforted me when Wilhelmina died. He brought me clothes and food. He was there for Willy's first steps, first words. He taught Willy how to fish and row and skip stones. He's been more of a father to Willy than you, by far. And he has been my husband, in all but this." She motioned to the bed. "I've been faithful to you Will. But I don't love you anymore. Jack has never touched me in any way a friend would not, and he never will. But neither will you, William. I won't break my marriage vows. But I won't be more of a wife to you than I am to the man I love."

"Elizabeth! What are you saying?!"

"Will. I'm sorry, I really am. Take the chest when you leave."

Will snarled like a wounded, angry animal. The next moment he was on her, and she was no match for his jealous rage.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Where'd Mister Will go?"

Elizabeth checked the mirror again, her heart heavy and fearful. The bruise was covered at least enough that Willy wouldn't notice. What would Will do now? Would he continue his set task, or stray from it as Jones had? She turned to her son.

"He had to leave, Willy."

"Oh. Is Papa Jack coming back today?"

"I think so."

"Mrs. Turner!" Jack's call from outside was a welcome sound.

"Oh, there he is now."

Jack came up the hill, looking somewhat moody. She knew he had been brooding last night over the idea of her spending the night with Will. She longed to run into his arms and spill out the whole story, but knew she could not in front of Willy. She saw him notice the bruise though, his brows drawing together in a menacing frown.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Jack scowled at the sight of the dark spot high on Elizabeth's cheek. Surely William would not…But what else could it be? There was anguish in her eyes, and it frightened him. How he loved her! The pain in her hurt him.

Jack had wanted Elizabeth since the first time she spoke to him. In the moments before that, he had thought her merely a stupid little girl who he might get a reward for saving. It was when she looked up at him with that beautiful, defiant face, heedless of chains and gun, and called him despicable, that he realized she was a woman. A real woman, though young, spirited and brave, worthy of being wanted. He had wanted her ever since.

Yet he thought that the moment he had realized he loved her was the moment when, again, she looked up at him, with eyes lit by desire and yet full of sorrow, and forced herself to say she was not sorry, even though her whole spirit cried with how sorry she was. He had loved her enough to do anything for her; he had died undeservedly to that William could live for her. He had sacrificed immortality so that William could live for her. He had kept his hands off her so that she would not break her vows to William, and feel infinitely guilty. And now William repaid all they had gone through by hitting his precious wife? Anger boiled in Jack's blood.

How many times had he longed to brush his fingers over the soft cheeks that William had bruised? How many times had her ached to hold close the warm body that he suspected William had battered? Yet every time he had forced himself away from the temptation; knowing that the relationship between him and Elizabeth had no middle ground; to touch her even in gentleness would inevitably lead to more. He would not put that guilt upon her. How could William not appreciate the beautiful thing he had?

"Papa Jack! There was a man here, with a BIG ship! He had the same name as me too, and Mama says I look just like him!"

"Really. Was he nice?"

"Yeah! He gave me a carving of a ship, and a little dagger I can cut fishing line with!"

"That's nice. Willy, I want to talk to your Mama for a while, so why don't you run down and see what I brought you. It's in the longboat."

"Yeah!"

Jack watched the boy run down the beach before he turned back to Elizabeth. Reaching out, he allowed himself that one wish, running two fingers up the side of her face in a gesture that brought back another time and place.

"_But…seeing as you're a good man, I know that you would never put me in a position that would compromise my honor." He was torn between his lust for her and the fact that something in him knew she was right, so he stalled, running his fingers up her cheek and hovering his mouth over hers. He knew that if he kissed her, he would have her. She would be in his bed that night, and he would bear the guilt of it forevermore. Yet he thought he would die if he did not kiss her. The call of "Land ho!" made the decision for him. He couldn't decide if it was a relief or a horror. _

He sighed.

"What happened, Elizabeth?"

She hesitated for a long moment.

"I…I told him I would not let him touch me, because I loved you, and that if you can't have me, neither can he. He…h-he hurt me."

"He hit you?"

She nodded.

"Did he rape you?"

The long moment of silence confirmed his fears. Finally, looking at the ground, she spoke.

"Yes."

If William had been there, Jack would have literally ripped his head off, and seen how immortal he could be without it!

Forcing his hands out of fists, Jack tipped up Elizabeth's chin and looked into her eyes.

"He's a fool, Elizabeth. Anybody who could hurt something so beautiful is an utter fool."

Tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Why did I do it Jack? Why did I marry him, when I loved you so much?"

"Lizzie. Lizzie, you thought you were doing the right thing; you were keeping a promise. What's in the past is in the past. We love each other. It doesn't matter that we can't touch each other. That's not such a big deal. I'll love you forever, Lizzie luv. Forever and a day. He won't get a chance to hurt you again. I won't let him."

She wrapped her arms around him, and he just held her for a long moment, wishing things were different. But the past could not be changed, and the future was uncertain. She could never be his, not really. But he would be there for her forever. Selfless.


End file.
